Life on the Bench.

A memory from High School has surfaced a few times over the last year or so. I played basketball my sophomore, junior and senior years. The first two seasons were as part of my high school's team and then for my last season, we combined with the neighboring town due to numbers. My first two seasons where good. I am a very average player, but I was blessed with coaches who played everyone no matter what their level of ability. What they asked of us as players was to show up at practices and games and play and work as hard as we could; to give our best. In return, they made sure every team member had playing time. Did I play every game? No, but almost every game.

My senior season was very different. Because of the two schools being combined, the number of fantastic players rose. Did I expect to play every game? No, however, I did think I would play in more games then I did. I cannot remember the number of games I did play, but I can safely say you could count them on one hand and not use up all your fingers. My friend Barbie and I (yes, that is her name) were Bench Warming Buddies. I think I even remember Barbie doing her homework on the bench once! We went to all the practices (many times we had two a day), we were expected to put in the work, and we would get suited up for the game. I even had to have my ankles wrapped before each. Then we would sit. It got so bad/funny that at one point our friends/fans started yelling at our coach to put us in! I loved those guys!! ;) I do remember one game that I was allowed to play. I went down the court, got the ball and made a basket! Thank you very much! I am not real sure, but I think as I ran past my coach, I either stuck my tongue out or bowed....he laughed. (I have matured a little since then!) But I digress.

Why do I bring this up? Whether because of choices I have made, or the Lord ordering my steps, right now I feel like I have been left on the Bench of Life. I have been expected to put in the effort, to put in the work and I have even tried to have a good attitude, but I still sit. I watch people come off the bench and get put in and I try not to be envious (I fail sometimes.) Believe me, I know the "right" way of looking at this, the "christian" way to look at this. Right now, I'm just choosing to be ticked. Tired and ticked; maybe sad is a better word. I am way at the end of the bench and my shoulders are slumped. I just wish it was my turn. Maybe I'm not ready, I don't know.....